Matchmaking players returns with a little cracker from London who is not getting the love he needs in Manchester from his new Italian partner. Don't worry Shaun, there's plenty more fish in the sea, and luckily I'm well versed in rod skills, so let's sort you out...
Shaun Wright-Phillips - Manchester City
Shaun's had to cope with some turbulent relationships throughout his career, and this isn't the first time he could have been a candidate for a matchmaking. His first love was at Manchester City, where he became a huge hit with the fans after securing regular first team football in the 2001/02 season under Kevin Keegan. The relationship seemed to be flourishing, and after playing up front and at wing-back, Shaun settled down to play on the right wing and netted 11 goals in both the 03/04 and 04/05 seasons, which isn't half bad from midfield. He was becoming a more and more attractive prospect with these kinds of performances though, and the most seductive temptress at the time started fluttering her eyelids in Shaun's direction in the form of Chelsea. Shaun couldn't help himself, poor lad, and ran off down south with the exciting new girl. However, as with many that have been brought under Chelsea's spell, it didn't end happily. There were some happy times for our man at the Bridge, but he was never quite made to feel special, and his first team opportunities and the relationship eventually ground to a halt. Luckily his old flame was there to take him back and show him some love again at Eastlands. It looked like he was back where he belonged, but Roberto Mancini took over from Mark Hughes, the likes of David Silva and Adam Johnson arrived on the scene and Shaun has to sit on the bench watching his girl getting with other guys. Well you don't have to do it anymore my man, because I'm finding you another girl, and she's going to be a corker.....
Everton?????
The Toffees have been in unusual form this season, mainly thanks to their lack of goals. Players that should be banging in the goals like Yakubu and Louis Saha just havn't been doing it and David Moyes constantly relies on his midfield, and his left-back to do the strikers' job. Now Shaun is clearly not a striker, but he is a goal-scoring midfielder and a player that will certainly create opportunities for the forwards, that you'd hope they'd convert at least some of. Tim Cahill is heading off to the Asian Cup in January, and speculation continues that Steven Pienaar is to leave continues which means that there may be gaps in the Everton midfield that Shaun could well fill. As far as inspirational signings go, it has been a while since the Goodison faithful had a lot to shout about with Jermaine Beckford hardly getting the juices flowing in the summer. Shaun has an impressive 36 caps for England and is still a big name in the English game and would be sure to excite the scousers that where blue shirts. Can Everton excite our man though and there be an exciting match to be made on Merseyside?????
Newcastle United?????
After the surprising dismissal of Chris Hughton from St. James' Park, Mike Ashley said it was because he wanted more Premier League experience at the helm. This could well mean that they are looking for some more of the same on the pitch as well. Wayne Routledge has been fairly successful on the right-side for the Magpies, and Jonas Guttierez has a decent pedigree, but it's fair to say that SWP would be an improvement on both of them. The Newcastle faithful were wholly underwhelmed by the appointment of Alan Pardew, but they absolutely love a big name signing, and if Pardew wants to get them onside then that would be the best way, after winning games obviously. With Newcastle continuing with big men upfront, especially Andy Carroll, they need quality delivery from midfield, and Shaun can definitely provide this. There seems to be a lot of reasons for this relationship working, but will our man be tempted up to the north-east? He's never had to wear strips before, maybe they're not his thing?????
Stoke City?????
Now this seems slightly less likely than a move to Newcastle, but that is harsh on Stoke who have become an established Premier League club with a team (mostly) full of very good players. The Potters, much like The Magpies play with big front men, usually in the form of Kenwyne Jones, and will also appreciate quality wingers, as they have with Matthew Etherington who has excelled in the last couple of years. Jermaine Pennant has come in on-loan and done well, but Zaragoza might be pricing Pennant out of a permanent move to the Brittania Stadium, leaving the right-wing spot in the Stoke side vacant. Tony Pulis' signings have been very impressive since getting his side into the Premier League, with the likes of Jones, Tuncay, Huth and Begovic all having Premier League experience and quality, and SWP would add to this impressive list. He would certainly feel loved and wanted in the Potteries, as he would arguably be the biggest signing in the history of the club. Could this be a match made in heaven? Or the Potteries?????
So who's about to change their relationship status on facebook and show a lot of love for the little man?????
I think it's pretty much a certainty that Shaun will be in pastures new by the end of the January transfer window, as the spark has well and truly died out in his current relationship. He's a man with a lot of character and clearly loves his football as you can see from the smile he wears on his face. So the question is, where is he going to enjoy his football the most? Any of the three would be an improvement on him sitting on the bench at Man. City where there is an unhappy dressing room anyway, and it's hard to pick one that would be a better option than the other two. The initial reaction would be to choose Newcastle as their fans probably have the best reputation in the country, and really do show their players some love. This would be harsh on Stoke, who have the loudest fans in the land, and Everton who are known as the People's Club so they would welcome him with open arms. Being pushed for a decision though, I am going to go with The Magpies, it could well be the perfect place for Shaun to finish his career with first team football and being adored by the fans. I think the Newcastle midfield needs an image improvement as well, and Shaun would certainly soften the gruff exterior displayed by Nolan, Barton and Smith. Come on Mike Ashley, get your cheque book out and make this happen, there could be sparks flying in the north-east very shortly.
Newcastle fans, can you make this a dream come true?
Everton or Stoke, have I made a terrible decision?
Who else wants Shaun to ride into town?
Tuesday 28 December 2010
Tuesday 21 December 2010
Manager Needing Love - Sam Allardyce
Having fixed up Blackburn Rovers with a new man last week, it's time to find their estranged lover Sam Allardyce a new club to snuggle up with this winter...
Sam Allardyce - Unemployed
Big Sam has impressed pretty much everywhere he has worked in his managerial career. He started a whole 19 years ago at Irish side Limerick and won promotion in his first and only season, impressing enough for Preston North End to bring him back to England as a coach. He had a brief spell as caretaker-manager at Deepdale, but was never offered the job permanently and so when the opportunity to manage Blackpool came up in 1994 he grabbed the opportunity. But in the 1995-96 season Allardyce was on the wrong end of one of the most bizarre sackings in history, having missed out on promotion to Division One with the Tangerines by a single point on the last game of the season, and then being unfortunate in losing in the play-offs, Big Sam was dismissed with no explanation. He was back in the game at Notts County though who were bottom of division two, and he couldn't keep them up, but then did win division three by 19 points the following season. It was the following October (1999) that he moved to Bolton, and his career from there is very well documented. He won promotion in his first full season via the playoffs and went on to establish The Trotters as a successful Premier League club and was good enough to come very close to getting the England job in 2006. He went to Newcastle, which was the only disappointment in his career and only lasted 24 games, but he was back in the game at Blackburn in 2008, saving the club from relegation and re-establishing themselves as a mid-table Premier League club. However, new owners have come in, and they arn't part of the Big Sam fan club and have made that clear straight away by getting Blackburn back into the dating scene and getting rid of our man. So, that's enough of the history lesson it's time to sort Sam out, because he's not had much action since leaving Ewood Park....
West Ham United?????
They may well have a partner at the minute, but it's far from a happy relationship as the Hammers sit at the bottom of the Premier League table and havn't really impressed anyone since Avram Grant took over in the summer. 13 points from 18 games is a pretty poor return, and the fans in East London are going to be tired of it very soon as they have only seen two wins all season so far. The Hammers are likely to be single in the near future and Sam could be the man to catch them on the rebound. He has an excellent record with Bolton and Blackburn in keeping clubs in the division against the odds and could very well do the same at Upton Park. There is one problem though as The Hammers have a very particular type they go for. They like attractive, pass and move football, not the long-ball route one nature that Big Sam brings to the table. However, their principals are getting them nowhere, and most would accept that it's better to win ugly than not win at all. Could there be Big love for Big Sam at the Boleyn Bround?????
Sheffield United?????
Sam wouldn't have to do any home-wrecking to find some love at Bramall Lane as The Blades split up with partner Gary Speed a couple of weeks ago and are looking for a new spark. It might be a step down in divisions for Big Sam, but there's no doubt that Sheffield United have the potential to be a big club in the Premier League and with a good manager in charge, they could get there fairly quickly. The Championship is a very difficult league, but Big Sam has got a team promoted from it before and could do it again. The issue is whether Sam will have the energy and motivation to drop down a league and build a club up at this stage of his career. He is a respected, successful Premier League manager, and may well look for a more attractive prospect than the one in South Yorkshire. Could the Blades tempt in this very eligible batchelor into their bosom?????
Fulham?????
Mark Hughes has made a surprisingly uninspiring start to his job at Craven Cottage. He did a great job at Blackburn, and it's roundly accepted that he was very unlucky to be removed from his post at Manchester City. However 10 draws and only 2 wins from his first 17 games in charge is a pretty terrible return compared to how impressive the Cottagers had been under Roy Hodgson. They play bottom club West Ham on boxing day, followed by tricky away games at Stoke and Spurs and three poor results could well spell the end for the Welshman in West London. This would be a very attractive prospect for Big Sam and Fulham, like West Ham would see him as a very real candidate due to his ability to keep teams in the Premier League. Could Sam be going cottaging in the near future?
So who has bagged the biggest single man in town and will be shacking up together in the near future???
Well there is no doubt that given Big Sam's record and ability to get clubs punching above their weight, he will be back in management in the near future somewhere. He has already expressed his hunger to get back involved as quick as he can, even considering a move abroard (I'm not sure how he would go down in Italy or Spain personally). So which of these three lucky ladies has bagged herself Big Sam? Unfortunately, although I don't always like to do it, it's going to have to be West Ham. Within hours of Sam leaving Blackburn he was being talked about as the obvious choice for a struggling Hammers side, and there arn't many arguments against it. If the West Ham board's sensibilities are so delicate that they couldn't possibly compromise on their ideals of tippy-tappy football, then unfortunately they will be trying to play like Barcelona in the Championship next season. Sam is much more likely to save the club from relegation than Avram Grant and it could be a loving relationship that is formed between man and club.
West Ham fans, do you want Sam in?????
Do Blades fans reckon they could tempt him to Sheffield?????
Anyone else want Sam to manage their boys?????
Sam Allardyce - Unemployed
Big Sam has impressed pretty much everywhere he has worked in his managerial career. He started a whole 19 years ago at Irish side Limerick and won promotion in his first and only season, impressing enough for Preston North End to bring him back to England as a coach. He had a brief spell as caretaker-manager at Deepdale, but was never offered the job permanently and so when the opportunity to manage Blackpool came up in 1994 he grabbed the opportunity. But in the 1995-96 season Allardyce was on the wrong end of one of the most bizarre sackings in history, having missed out on promotion to Division One with the Tangerines by a single point on the last game of the season, and then being unfortunate in losing in the play-offs, Big Sam was dismissed with no explanation. He was back in the game at Notts County though who were bottom of division two, and he couldn't keep them up, but then did win division three by 19 points the following season. It was the following October (1999) that he moved to Bolton, and his career from there is very well documented. He won promotion in his first full season via the playoffs and went on to establish The Trotters as a successful Premier League club and was good enough to come very close to getting the England job in 2006. He went to Newcastle, which was the only disappointment in his career and only lasted 24 games, but he was back in the game at Blackburn in 2008, saving the club from relegation and re-establishing themselves as a mid-table Premier League club. However, new owners have come in, and they arn't part of the Big Sam fan club and have made that clear straight away by getting Blackburn back into the dating scene and getting rid of our man. So, that's enough of the history lesson it's time to sort Sam out, because he's not had much action since leaving Ewood Park....
West Ham United?????
They may well have a partner at the minute, but it's far from a happy relationship as the Hammers sit at the bottom of the Premier League table and havn't really impressed anyone since Avram Grant took over in the summer. 13 points from 18 games is a pretty poor return, and the fans in East London are going to be tired of it very soon as they have only seen two wins all season so far. The Hammers are likely to be single in the near future and Sam could be the man to catch them on the rebound. He has an excellent record with Bolton and Blackburn in keeping clubs in the division against the odds and could very well do the same at Upton Park. There is one problem though as The Hammers have a very particular type they go for. They like attractive, pass and move football, not the long-ball route one nature that Big Sam brings to the table. However, their principals are getting them nowhere, and most would accept that it's better to win ugly than not win at all. Could there be Big love for Big Sam at the Boleyn Bround?????
Sheffield United?????
Sam wouldn't have to do any home-wrecking to find some love at Bramall Lane as The Blades split up with partner Gary Speed a couple of weeks ago and are looking for a new spark. It might be a step down in divisions for Big Sam, but there's no doubt that Sheffield United have the potential to be a big club in the Premier League and with a good manager in charge, they could get there fairly quickly. The Championship is a very difficult league, but Big Sam has got a team promoted from it before and could do it again. The issue is whether Sam will have the energy and motivation to drop down a league and build a club up at this stage of his career. He is a respected, successful Premier League manager, and may well look for a more attractive prospect than the one in South Yorkshire. Could the Blades tempt in this very eligible batchelor into their bosom?????
Fulham?????
Mark Hughes has made a surprisingly uninspiring start to his job at Craven Cottage. He did a great job at Blackburn, and it's roundly accepted that he was very unlucky to be removed from his post at Manchester City. However 10 draws and only 2 wins from his first 17 games in charge is a pretty terrible return compared to how impressive the Cottagers had been under Roy Hodgson. They play bottom club West Ham on boxing day, followed by tricky away games at Stoke and Spurs and three poor results could well spell the end for the Welshman in West London. This would be a very attractive prospect for Big Sam and Fulham, like West Ham would see him as a very real candidate due to his ability to keep teams in the Premier League. Could Sam be going cottaging in the near future?
So who has bagged the biggest single man in town and will be shacking up together in the near future???
Well there is no doubt that given Big Sam's record and ability to get clubs punching above their weight, he will be back in management in the near future somewhere. He has already expressed his hunger to get back involved as quick as he can, even considering a move abroard (I'm not sure how he would go down in Italy or Spain personally). So which of these three lucky ladies has bagged herself Big Sam? Unfortunately, although I don't always like to do it, it's going to have to be West Ham. Within hours of Sam leaving Blackburn he was being talked about as the obvious choice for a struggling Hammers side, and there arn't many arguments against it. If the West Ham board's sensibilities are so delicate that they couldn't possibly compromise on their ideals of tippy-tappy football, then unfortunately they will be trying to play like Barcelona in the Championship next season. Sam is much more likely to save the club from relegation than Avram Grant and it could be a loving relationship that is formed between man and club.
West Ham fans, do you want Sam in?????
Do Blades fans reckon they could tempt him to Sheffield?????
Anyone else want Sam to manage their boys?????
Tuesday 14 December 2010
Football Club Needing Love - Blackburn Rovers
So it's a first for the matchmaker, as I try and find a whole club a new lover. I have to say after the way they treated their last spouse I'm not that keen on finding them some action but duty calls. I don't think I'll get many opportunities to matchmake an 135-year-old lass from Lancashire. So here goes...
Blackburn Rovers
So the new owners have come in from the footballing heartland that is the Indian chicken industry, and with their vast knowledge of the game that they've built up there have decided that Sam Allardyce isn't the man for the job at Ewood Park. They have unceremoniously put all his stuff in bin-bags and thrown them into the street in true bunny-boiler style. What is understandable from Venkys (the owners) is that they didn't like Big Sam's brand of football, which admittedly wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but it did a job and the way he has turned Rovers round from the state Paul Ince left them in has been very impressive, and playing direct football is how he's done it. Venkys have also changed their mind about settling for mid-table football and want to push for Champions League football, however have not mentioned anything about changing the initial £5m that they were offering for transfers. I'm afrad if your Sam Allardyce, Sir Alex Ferguson or anyone else without a wand and pointy hat, you arn't getting Blackburn into the Champions League with 5 million quid. So as difficult as this sounds, I'm going to try and find this newly available, high-maintenence lady a new man. One that can get an ugly mid-table side playing entertaining football and qualifying for Europe with no money, we shall see.....
Martin Jol?????
He's been made the favourite with the money people, and they usually have a good idea what they are talking about, but would he be the right man for our girl? Well he was in the strangely fortunate position, last time he managed in England, of being fired when people generally still thought he was doing a decent job and still liked him. So he got to leave his post with dignity and a reputation that was still intact. Since leaving Spurs he's had good with Hamburg and Ajax (win ratios of over 60% at both is pretty handy) but is now a single man, and I'm sure be relishing the prospect of a return to England. Venkys have said they'd like an Englishman to take charge, but having just ditched one of the few reputable English managers I don't think they're that fussed. Jol has one a couple of cup competitions in his managerial career and this is all a club like Rovers can really hope for, so he seems to have the credentials. Whether he is the inspirational figure that could lead a relatively small club to league and cup glory though I'm not so sure. Will Rovers get up some Dutch courage and ask Martin out on a date?????
Martin O'Neill?????
Martin number two on the list of potentials is another high calibre manager, and unless Venkys are really willing to give him some funds to spend, you would think he would be out of Blackburn's league. Again he is a manager who left his last job with reputation firmly intact, epecially since Gerard Houllier has done so badly since taking over from him. This would suggest Martin would be after a stand-out babe rather than the one or two pinter that is Blackburn Rovers, but as mentioned a substantial war-chest could change his mind. O'Neill is certainly an inspirational type figure and has had success wherever he has managed. His brand of football might not be as crude as Big Sam's, but he does have a tendency for the long ball to the big man, as his affinity with Emile Heskey throughout his career has demonstrated, so it might not quite be the sexy football the Indians are after. Although I have no doubts that if Rovers could slip on some lingerie and lure Martin their way then they certainly would, but have they got the figure for it?????
Alan Curbishley?????
Here's a man that has been single for rather longer than you'd expect. Did an incredible job at Charlton, which maybe was taken for granted, but their decline to league one also-rans has proved that what he did was truly sensational. He also did a better job at West Ham than any that have followed him and only left over transfer disputes. If this is likely to be an issue though, the situation at Ewood might just put him off a bit (as it would O'Neill for that matter). I'm sure Alan will be looking to get back on the dating scene soon though, and it's not often that a Premier League club that arn't struggling with relegation becomes available (except last week) so it might be an opportunity too good to turn down. However, whether he is the big name that the new owners might be looking for is questionable. Will Alan give up the batchelor lifestyle and settle down at Ewood Park?
Owen Coyle?????
Make an ugly team play attractive football. Check. Take a mid-table team to in and around the Champions League places. Check. Spend next to no money on your squad. Check. Well it looks like it's Owen Coyle then. He really has done an amazing job at Bolton and has done to them exactly what the Indians want done to Blackburn. The Trotters are also reportedly in pretty dire financial straights and if they are forced to sell prize assets like Gary Cahill or Johan Elmander then Owen might see his efforts as a little futile. The prospect of strong financial backing as opposed to a dodgy bank balance might tempt him to yet another Lancashire club. Owen is in a very loving relationship right now though, and it would really be a wrench for him to leave his current partner, but if Blackburn could tempt him their way, then it would be the steal of the year.....
Diego Maradona?????
I suppose El Diego is the equivalent of the really wierd girl you see around, who for some reason is attractive even though you know she's not really. You sort of want to go out with them because it would be mental but fun for a while, but you know it wouldn't be a serious relationship. There is no evidence that Diego could achieve anything at all in club managment. He got to the quarter finals of the World Cup with Argentina, but with the talent in the squad that's no great achievement, and in the more league-like format of qualification he only just scraped through. He is a volatile and unstable character but he is ofcourse a massive name in football, and for a seemingly naive new owner could be a tempting choice. It would certainly give Venkys some more publicity which is the whole point behind their venture into the world of football. Could English football be about to become a whole lot more exciting with the hand of God getting involved?????
So who are the new owners tempting round with a pint of Cobra and a Madras????? (I hope that's not racist)
Well I've splashed out here and gone for five contenders, but in truth there are a few more that could equally take fair Blackburn's hand in marriage. Also, with Venkys saying that they are in no hurry to appoint and they could leave temporary boss Steve Kean in charge for as much as two months, more contenders could arise. However, of the five I've offered up today they all have their appeal. For pure neutral viewing El Diego would be the choice, because it would be insane. For what the club want to achieve it would seem Coyle is the obvious choice, but here at matchmaker we want to build, not crush relationships and Bolton really would be devastated by that loss. So the match I'm going to make today is Blackburn with Martin O'Neill. If Venkys are really serious about getting anywhere near the top four they need to get their cheque-book out, and this is what could tempt Martin their way. He didn't quite manage the top four with Villa, but he could potentially go one better this time. Do you think Martin would get off with Blackburn? I reckon E wood (pleased with that one)
Who do you reckon should fill Big Sam's Big Shoes?????
Bonus article from goal.com ramblings: http://www.goal.com/en-gb/news/2896/premier-league/2010/12/14/2260543/blackburn-owners-explain-sam-allardyce-sacking-we-wanted
Blackburn Rovers
So the new owners have come in from the footballing heartland that is the Indian chicken industry, and with their vast knowledge of the game that they've built up there have decided that Sam Allardyce isn't the man for the job at Ewood Park. They have unceremoniously put all his stuff in bin-bags and thrown them into the street in true bunny-boiler style. What is understandable from Venkys (the owners) is that they didn't like Big Sam's brand of football, which admittedly wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but it did a job and the way he has turned Rovers round from the state Paul Ince left them in has been very impressive, and playing direct football is how he's done it. Venkys have also changed their mind about settling for mid-table football and want to push for Champions League football, however have not mentioned anything about changing the initial £5m that they were offering for transfers. I'm afrad if your Sam Allardyce, Sir Alex Ferguson or anyone else without a wand and pointy hat, you arn't getting Blackburn into the Champions League with 5 million quid. So as difficult as this sounds, I'm going to try and find this newly available, high-maintenence lady a new man. One that can get an ugly mid-table side playing entertaining football and qualifying for Europe with no money, we shall see.....
Martin Jol?????
He's been made the favourite with the money people, and they usually have a good idea what they are talking about, but would he be the right man for our girl? Well he was in the strangely fortunate position, last time he managed in England, of being fired when people generally still thought he was doing a decent job and still liked him. So he got to leave his post with dignity and a reputation that was still intact. Since leaving Spurs he's had good with Hamburg and Ajax (win ratios of over 60% at both is pretty handy) but is now a single man, and I'm sure be relishing the prospect of a return to England. Venkys have said they'd like an Englishman to take charge, but having just ditched one of the few reputable English managers I don't think they're that fussed. Jol has one a couple of cup competitions in his managerial career and this is all a club like Rovers can really hope for, so he seems to have the credentials. Whether he is the inspirational figure that could lead a relatively small club to league and cup glory though I'm not so sure. Will Rovers get up some Dutch courage and ask Martin out on a date?????
Martin O'Neill?????
Martin number two on the list of potentials is another high calibre manager, and unless Venkys are really willing to give him some funds to spend, you would think he would be out of Blackburn's league. Again he is a manager who left his last job with reputation firmly intact, epecially since Gerard Houllier has done so badly since taking over from him. This would suggest Martin would be after a stand-out babe rather than the one or two pinter that is Blackburn Rovers, but as mentioned a substantial war-chest could change his mind. O'Neill is certainly an inspirational type figure and has had success wherever he has managed. His brand of football might not be as crude as Big Sam's, but he does have a tendency for the long ball to the big man, as his affinity with Emile Heskey throughout his career has demonstrated, so it might not quite be the sexy football the Indians are after. Although I have no doubts that if Rovers could slip on some lingerie and lure Martin their way then they certainly would, but have they got the figure for it?????
Alan Curbishley?????
Here's a man that has been single for rather longer than you'd expect. Did an incredible job at Charlton, which maybe was taken for granted, but their decline to league one also-rans has proved that what he did was truly sensational. He also did a better job at West Ham than any that have followed him and only left over transfer disputes. If this is likely to be an issue though, the situation at Ewood might just put him off a bit (as it would O'Neill for that matter). I'm sure Alan will be looking to get back on the dating scene soon though, and it's not often that a Premier League club that arn't struggling with relegation becomes available (except last week) so it might be an opportunity too good to turn down. However, whether he is the big name that the new owners might be looking for is questionable. Will Alan give up the batchelor lifestyle and settle down at Ewood Park?
Owen Coyle?????
Make an ugly team play attractive football. Check. Take a mid-table team to in and around the Champions League places. Check. Spend next to no money on your squad. Check. Well it looks like it's Owen Coyle then. He really has done an amazing job at Bolton and has done to them exactly what the Indians want done to Blackburn. The Trotters are also reportedly in pretty dire financial straights and if they are forced to sell prize assets like Gary Cahill or Johan Elmander then Owen might see his efforts as a little futile. The prospect of strong financial backing as opposed to a dodgy bank balance might tempt him to yet another Lancashire club. Owen is in a very loving relationship right now though, and it would really be a wrench for him to leave his current partner, but if Blackburn could tempt him their way, then it would be the steal of the year.....
Diego Maradona?????
I suppose El Diego is the equivalent of the really wierd girl you see around, who for some reason is attractive even though you know she's not really. You sort of want to go out with them because it would be mental but fun for a while, but you know it wouldn't be a serious relationship. There is no evidence that Diego could achieve anything at all in club managment. He got to the quarter finals of the World Cup with Argentina, but with the talent in the squad that's no great achievement, and in the more league-like format of qualification he only just scraped through. He is a volatile and unstable character but he is ofcourse a massive name in football, and for a seemingly naive new owner could be a tempting choice. It would certainly give Venkys some more publicity which is the whole point behind their venture into the world of football. Could English football be about to become a whole lot more exciting with the hand of God getting involved?????
So who are the new owners tempting round with a pint of Cobra and a Madras????? (I hope that's not racist)
Well I've splashed out here and gone for five contenders, but in truth there are a few more that could equally take fair Blackburn's hand in marriage. Also, with Venkys saying that they are in no hurry to appoint and they could leave temporary boss Steve Kean in charge for as much as two months, more contenders could arise. However, of the five I've offered up today they all have their appeal. For pure neutral viewing El Diego would be the choice, because it would be insane. For what the club want to achieve it would seem Coyle is the obvious choice, but here at matchmaker we want to build, not crush relationships and Bolton really would be devastated by that loss. So the match I'm going to make today is Blackburn with Martin O'Neill. If Venkys are really serious about getting anywhere near the top four they need to get their cheque-book out, and this is what could tempt Martin their way. He didn't quite manage the top four with Villa, but he could potentially go one better this time. Do you think Martin would get off with Blackburn? I reckon E wood (pleased with that one)
Who do you reckon should fill Big Sam's Big Shoes?????
Bonus article from goal.com ramblings: http://www.goal.com/en-gb/news/2896/premier-league/2010/12/14/2260543/blackburn-owners-explain-sam-allardyce-sacking-we-wanted
Friday 10 December 2010
Footballer Needing Love - Alexander Hleb
If ever a man has been on the rebound, then it's Alex Hleb right now. Out on loan at a mid-table Premier League club who are prone to the long ball is not where he should be right now, and it is a result of him being so harshly cast aside by his dream girl of Barcelona. Let's sort you out Alex...
Alex Hleb - Birmingham City (On loan from Barcelona)
Here we have one of the most talented midfielders in the Premier League, arguably in Europe, and is certainly the most skilled Belarussian to grace these shores since Pyotr Kachura (Sheffield United fans will remember him, met him once, lovely man). Alex was in his prime at Arsenal where his incredible technical ability suited The Gunners' pass and move football down to a tea. He seemed a personification of their one touch, pass and move play, although this included an inability to shoot at goal which was frustrating at times. Our man had already earned the nickname "The Wizard's Apprentice" from his time at Stuttgart for his silky skills and trickery. In the summer of 2008, the loving relationship Alex had with Arsenal was severed as he was lured away by the temptress that is Barcelona. It was understandable, Barca really are the best gal around, and when she flutters her eyelashes in your direction it's impossible to resist. Things didn't work out at the Nou Camp though, Alex couldn't break into the star-studded first team and first returned to Stuttgart on a season long loan, and now is at Birmingham on a similar deal. Al has already complained about the direct nature of Birmingham's play, and has declared himself embarrassed at being left on the bench on occassions. This is clearly not a match made in heaven, so let's find him one that is.....
Bolton Wanderers?????
Not that I want to jump on any band wagons, but Owen Coyle really has done an incredible job at the Reebok Stadium. The Trotters were an ugly but effective team under Allardyce, then an ugly and ineffective team under Megson (wierd how teams can describe their managers as well) and Coyle has somehow managed to turn this situation round in less than a year into Bolton being an incredibly exciting footballing side. It really is a phenomenal achivement after the years of drudgery that has been engrained on the minds of the Bolton squad. Two years ago, matching Alex with Bolton would have been derided and I would have had to resign from matchmaking under a cloud of public abuse, but now it really is an option, as they have become the geeky girl who has turned out to be really fit when she finally puts some nice clothes on. They already play with some similar types of players like Lee Chung-Yong and Mark Davies, but you'd think Al would be an improvement and would play regularly at the Reebok. With Martin Petrov in there aswell, it really could have the potential of a top midfield. Could Al be tempted by the new look babe from Bolton?????
Sunderland?????
The Black Cats have been impressive this season, obviously the thrashing of Chelsea away being the highlight, and are establishing themselves as a genuine top-half club. They struggled for goals a little at the start of the season, but this seems to have been cured with Bent, Gyan and Welbeck all getting in on the act. They do have the distructive, and some what mental, presence of Lee Cattermole in midfield, but with Malbranque, Henderson and Zenden there, it shows they want to pass the ball and create from the middle of the park. It would be a signal of intent from Steve Bruce that he really is trying to push the club on to be real contenders by signing a player of Alex's quality and reputation. However, he would have to do what Birmingham have failed to and give him a pivotal role in the team, and play the brand of football that would suit him. This sounds like Al is being a bit high maintenance, but surely that kind of football is what everyone wants to see. The Wizard's Apprentice with the Black Cats? A magical matchmake perhaps?????
Villarreal?????
Unfortunatly for fans in England, I just don't think there's that many options in the Premier League for Al to find some love. He's got to be playing in the top half, because he's an excellent player, but I can't see any of the really big clubs being interested after his slump in form. A return to Arsenal is a possibility, but I can't really see it happening, reconcilliations don't work too often. So it could be a return to sunny Spain for Alex, but to somewhere that will appreciate him and treat him with the love and respect he deserves, so where better than Villarreal. The club's success is an incredible achievement seen as the town of Vila-real where they are based only has just over 50,000 inhabitants. But the club has come from nowhere to be a real force in La Liga, and has some excellent players that the locals all adore. Nilmar and Guiseppe Rossi upfront is an impressive strike-force, but it is the link-up with the likes of Santi Cazorla and Cani in midfield that Alex could really benefit from. As a point of reference, when Robert Pires left Arsenal for El Madrigal he absolutely loved it, maybe this is a path for Al to follow. Will temperatures be hotting up for Alex en Espana?????
So Al needs a destination as he comes From Belarussia With Love.....(sorry)
It really is a tricky one for Al here. He has quite a specific set of credentials he's looking for in a lady and certainly in England there arn't many where a match could be made. There is no doubt that he is still an excellent player, and at 29 he still has a lot to give to any club that makes him there's. There is always the possibilty that his relationship with Birmingham could get over it's initial troubles and blossom into something beautiful, but I can't see it happening. Of the three choices I've offerred up to Al, the one I really want to matchmake him with is Bolton. They really have been so impressive this season that they deserve to get even more quality into their team. However, their financial situation has been publicly declared as shakey at best and I think the expense of a partner of Alex's calibre might just be out of their reach. Therefore I'm going to go for the obvious choice which for me seems to be Villarreal, and if Al had to choose one of the three I think it would the Yellow Submarines that he'd go for. So enjoy our man in the Premier League while you can, because he might not be around for long....
Alex Hleb - Birmingham City (On loan from Barcelona)
Here we have one of the most talented midfielders in the Premier League, arguably in Europe, and is certainly the most skilled Belarussian to grace these shores since Pyotr Kachura (Sheffield United fans will remember him, met him once, lovely man). Alex was in his prime at Arsenal where his incredible technical ability suited The Gunners' pass and move football down to a tea. He seemed a personification of their one touch, pass and move play, although this included an inability to shoot at goal which was frustrating at times. Our man had already earned the nickname "The Wizard's Apprentice" from his time at Stuttgart for his silky skills and trickery. In the summer of 2008, the loving relationship Alex had with Arsenal was severed as he was lured away by the temptress that is Barcelona. It was understandable, Barca really are the best gal around, and when she flutters her eyelashes in your direction it's impossible to resist. Things didn't work out at the Nou Camp though, Alex couldn't break into the star-studded first team and first returned to Stuttgart on a season long loan, and now is at Birmingham on a similar deal. Al has already complained about the direct nature of Birmingham's play, and has declared himself embarrassed at being left on the bench on occassions. This is clearly not a match made in heaven, so let's find him one that is.....
Bolton Wanderers?????
Not that I want to jump on any band wagons, but Owen Coyle really has done an incredible job at the Reebok Stadium. The Trotters were an ugly but effective team under Allardyce, then an ugly and ineffective team under Megson (wierd how teams can describe their managers as well) and Coyle has somehow managed to turn this situation round in less than a year into Bolton being an incredibly exciting footballing side. It really is a phenomenal achivement after the years of drudgery that has been engrained on the minds of the Bolton squad. Two years ago, matching Alex with Bolton would have been derided and I would have had to resign from matchmaking under a cloud of public abuse, but now it really is an option, as they have become the geeky girl who has turned out to be really fit when she finally puts some nice clothes on. They already play with some similar types of players like Lee Chung-Yong and Mark Davies, but you'd think Al would be an improvement and would play regularly at the Reebok. With Martin Petrov in there aswell, it really could have the potential of a top midfield. Could Al be tempted by the new look babe from Bolton?????
Sunderland?????
The Black Cats have been impressive this season, obviously the thrashing of Chelsea away being the highlight, and are establishing themselves as a genuine top-half club. They struggled for goals a little at the start of the season, but this seems to have been cured with Bent, Gyan and Welbeck all getting in on the act. They do have the distructive, and some what mental, presence of Lee Cattermole in midfield, but with Malbranque, Henderson and Zenden there, it shows they want to pass the ball and create from the middle of the park. It would be a signal of intent from Steve Bruce that he really is trying to push the club on to be real contenders by signing a player of Alex's quality and reputation. However, he would have to do what Birmingham have failed to and give him a pivotal role in the team, and play the brand of football that would suit him. This sounds like Al is being a bit high maintenance, but surely that kind of football is what everyone wants to see. The Wizard's Apprentice with the Black Cats? A magical matchmake perhaps?????
Villarreal?????
Unfortunatly for fans in England, I just don't think there's that many options in the Premier League for Al to find some love. He's got to be playing in the top half, because he's an excellent player, but I can't see any of the really big clubs being interested after his slump in form. A return to Arsenal is a possibility, but I can't really see it happening, reconcilliations don't work too often. So it could be a return to sunny Spain for Alex, but to somewhere that will appreciate him and treat him with the love and respect he deserves, so where better than Villarreal. The club's success is an incredible achievement seen as the town of Vila-real where they are based only has just over 50,000 inhabitants. But the club has come from nowhere to be a real force in La Liga, and has some excellent players that the locals all adore. Nilmar and Guiseppe Rossi upfront is an impressive strike-force, but it is the link-up with the likes of Santi Cazorla and Cani in midfield that Alex could really benefit from. As a point of reference, when Robert Pires left Arsenal for El Madrigal he absolutely loved it, maybe this is a path for Al to follow. Will temperatures be hotting up for Alex en Espana?????
So Al needs a destination as he comes From Belarussia With Love.....(sorry)
It really is a tricky one for Al here. He has quite a specific set of credentials he's looking for in a lady and certainly in England there arn't many where a match could be made. There is no doubt that he is still an excellent player, and at 29 he still has a lot to give to any club that makes him there's. There is always the possibilty that his relationship with Birmingham could get over it's initial troubles and blossom into something beautiful, but I can't see it happening. Of the three choices I've offerred up to Al, the one I really want to matchmake him with is Bolton. They really have been so impressive this season that they deserve to get even more quality into their team. However, their financial situation has been publicly declared as shakey at best and I think the expense of a partner of Alex's calibre might just be out of their reach. Therefore I'm going to go for the obvious choice which for me seems to be Villarreal, and if Al had to choose one of the three I think it would the Yellow Submarines that he'd go for. So enjoy our man in the Premier League while you can, because he might not be around for long....
Friday 3 December 2010
Footballer Needing Love - Robbie Keane
A man with a string of ex-clubs that would have most other players drooling, he's Ireland's all time record goalscorer, he's the 11th highest scorer in Premier League history with 121 and he can do a cracking forward role, who wouldn't fancy a date with Robbie Keane? Well I'll find three clubs that just might be interested in our man....
Robbie Keane - Tottenham Hotspur
I may have got over excited and reeled off all Robbie's credentials in the opening, but to be honest he has been such a good player over the years, I just couldn't wait to big him up. Since bursting onto the scene at Wolves way back in 1997 he has scored regularly if not prolificly throughout his career. His 157 goals in 428 games isn't the hallowed ground of 1 in 2 that all strikers are looking for these days, but as mentioned, he's up in 11th in all time Premier League scorers which really puts him up amongst the elite. Throwing 45 goals for his country into the mix puts him up there in potentially legendary status. However, enough of the facts and figures, Robbie has fallen out of love after his career went some what off the rails with a move to Liverpool in 2008. He seemed to have hit the height of his powers for Spurs and got his dream move to Anfield, but it just didn't work out there, and he returned to White Hart Lane, but hasn't recaptured his form since. It's tempting to think that Robbie is past it and will be scouring the retirement home for a date, but he's only 30 years old and has some life in him yet, so let's find him a young fily to recapture his form and loving feeling......
Aston Villa?????
The Villains are definitely in the hunt for a new striker. Whatever Houllier says in the press, he doesn't get on with Carew and will not put any faith in him, Heskey is not the answer to any question, unless it's who should be playing in the Championship nowadays? Agbonlahor has lost his form quite badly in the last year and a half, and Delfouneso isn't being risked regularly in the first team yet. Potentially Agbonlahor and Delfouneso could go on to be very good Premier League strikers but Houllier needs a quick fix and Robbie could well be it. Robbie is lacking form and confidence, but a run in any first team would get him scoring again, and with the service that would certainly be provided by the likes of Ashley Young and Stuart Downing he could get back to his best. If Houllier is wanting to bring his two young strikers on effectively, a presence like Robbie Keane in the dressing room will only help him, and will certainly be more of an inspirational figure than Heskey or Carew. Villa are also under-performing so far this term and the signing of Robbie, who is still a big name, might just be a catalyst to turn their season round. Will Robbie go back to his roots in the Midlands, maybe he'll fancy a French connection with Gerard......
Fulham?????
If we thought Villa needed a striker, it's nothing compared to the Cottagers' need. Andy Johnson is a good forward but has been injured for so long it is going to take time for him to regain any form. We've seen Eddie Johnson and Diamansy Kamara so far this season, which shows Mark Hughes' desperation and the goal scoring burden seems to be falling almost entirely on the likes of Clint Dempsey and Zoltan Gera. This has got to push Hughes into the market for a stiker in January and an available and potentially cut-price Robbie Keane would be very welcome at Craven Cottage. This could well be a necessity rather than a luxury for Fulham, as they slip further and further towards the relegation battle and their lack of goals will soon turn from a problem into a crisis. Fulham would certainly be the doting wife if Robbie struck up a relationship with them, they need him, but will this intice Robbie to move from North to West London?????
Newcastle United?????
It's been a very impressive return to the Premier League that Newcastle have made, and I think they'll be looking to consolidate their position in the top half of the table with some more Premier League quality and a man who has scored so many goals in the top flight would certainly give them that. The Magpies are playing Carroll and Ameobi up top together regularly this season which is a tactic that is getting them results for now, but playing it long up to two big men is probably a tactic Chris Hughton has been using to establish themselves in the league before playing a more attractive brand of football when they have a foothold in the division. Big Shola is still not a Premier League quality striker as well, and there's no doubt that Robbie would be a significant improvement on him. Hughton also has strong links with Spurs, that could just swing any potential deal his way. Will Newcastle get their mini-skirt on and get hammered in time honoured fashion looking to attract Robbie's attention?????
So who's getting off in the cloak room at the Christmas party?????
Robbie has got bags more goals in him yet, and with his character, will be determined to prove it until he physically can't get himself onto a pitch anymore. It will just take someone to boost his confidence back to where it should be and that could see him becoming the bargain of the year as he could well be available for just £6 million. I think the confidence issue will be improved the most if he goes to a club on the up, and I'm afraid there's only one of the three clubs mentioned that look like they're heading in the right direction and that's Newcastle. With the rise and rise of Andy Carroll continuing, a partnership with Robbie could be lethal for the Toon, and really re-establish them as a force in the league. He would also be loved by the Newcastle faithful and that is only going to have a positive affect on his game. So can Robbie and Newcastle hook up next month? Let's all hope so
Spurs fans, is it time for Robbie to call it a day in London?????
Who thinks they can tempt Robbie their way?????
Robbie Keane - Tottenham Hotspur
I may have got over excited and reeled off all Robbie's credentials in the opening, but to be honest he has been such a good player over the years, I just couldn't wait to big him up. Since bursting onto the scene at Wolves way back in 1997 he has scored regularly if not prolificly throughout his career. His 157 goals in 428 games isn't the hallowed ground of 1 in 2 that all strikers are looking for these days, but as mentioned, he's up in 11th in all time Premier League scorers which really puts him up amongst the elite. Throwing 45 goals for his country into the mix puts him up there in potentially legendary status. However, enough of the facts and figures, Robbie has fallen out of love after his career went some what off the rails with a move to Liverpool in 2008. He seemed to have hit the height of his powers for Spurs and got his dream move to Anfield, but it just didn't work out there, and he returned to White Hart Lane, but hasn't recaptured his form since. It's tempting to think that Robbie is past it and will be scouring the retirement home for a date, but he's only 30 years old and has some life in him yet, so let's find him a young fily to recapture his form and loving feeling......
Aston Villa?????
The Villains are definitely in the hunt for a new striker. Whatever Houllier says in the press, he doesn't get on with Carew and will not put any faith in him, Heskey is not the answer to any question, unless it's who should be playing in the Championship nowadays? Agbonlahor has lost his form quite badly in the last year and a half, and Delfouneso isn't being risked regularly in the first team yet. Potentially Agbonlahor and Delfouneso could go on to be very good Premier League strikers but Houllier needs a quick fix and Robbie could well be it. Robbie is lacking form and confidence, but a run in any first team would get him scoring again, and with the service that would certainly be provided by the likes of Ashley Young and Stuart Downing he could get back to his best. If Houllier is wanting to bring his two young strikers on effectively, a presence like Robbie Keane in the dressing room will only help him, and will certainly be more of an inspirational figure than Heskey or Carew. Villa are also under-performing so far this term and the signing of Robbie, who is still a big name, might just be a catalyst to turn their season round. Will Robbie go back to his roots in the Midlands, maybe he'll fancy a French connection with Gerard......
Fulham?????
If we thought Villa needed a striker, it's nothing compared to the Cottagers' need. Andy Johnson is a good forward but has been injured for so long it is going to take time for him to regain any form. We've seen Eddie Johnson and Diamansy Kamara so far this season, which shows Mark Hughes' desperation and the goal scoring burden seems to be falling almost entirely on the likes of Clint Dempsey and Zoltan Gera. This has got to push Hughes into the market for a stiker in January and an available and potentially cut-price Robbie Keane would be very welcome at Craven Cottage. This could well be a necessity rather than a luxury for Fulham, as they slip further and further towards the relegation battle and their lack of goals will soon turn from a problem into a crisis. Fulham would certainly be the doting wife if Robbie struck up a relationship with them, they need him, but will this intice Robbie to move from North to West London?????
Newcastle United?????
It's been a very impressive return to the Premier League that Newcastle have made, and I think they'll be looking to consolidate their position in the top half of the table with some more Premier League quality and a man who has scored so many goals in the top flight would certainly give them that. The Magpies are playing Carroll and Ameobi up top together regularly this season which is a tactic that is getting them results for now, but playing it long up to two big men is probably a tactic Chris Hughton has been using to establish themselves in the league before playing a more attractive brand of football when they have a foothold in the division. Big Shola is still not a Premier League quality striker as well, and there's no doubt that Robbie would be a significant improvement on him. Hughton also has strong links with Spurs, that could just swing any potential deal his way. Will Newcastle get their mini-skirt on and get hammered in time honoured fashion looking to attract Robbie's attention?????
So who's getting off in the cloak room at the Christmas party?????
Robbie has got bags more goals in him yet, and with his character, will be determined to prove it until he physically can't get himself onto a pitch anymore. It will just take someone to boost his confidence back to where it should be and that could see him becoming the bargain of the year as he could well be available for just £6 million. I think the confidence issue will be improved the most if he goes to a club on the up, and I'm afraid there's only one of the three clubs mentioned that look like they're heading in the right direction and that's Newcastle. With the rise and rise of Andy Carroll continuing, a partnership with Robbie could be lethal for the Toon, and really re-establish them as a force in the league. He would also be loved by the Newcastle faithful and that is only going to have a positive affect on his game. So can Robbie and Newcastle hook up next month? Let's all hope so
Spurs fans, is it time for Robbie to call it a day in London?????
Who thinks they can tempt Robbie their way?????
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